One Small yet Significant Storm

 

Everyone has a storm…a story of God’s faithfulness

By the end of the day I knew, this wasn’t the classroom for me, but now what?  I need a day, some distance, some perspective.  It was with those thoughts that I went to talk with my principal, the one who assigned me to the classroom. She had already left for the day.  So I notified important people- I won’t be at work tomorrow. 

Phone calls and texts resulted.  Well, are you resigning?  No.  I’m not sure.  This isn’t where my gifts lie.  I wasn’t prepared for this classroom- the most wonderful individuals with so many special needs. Capable of learning, yet nonverbal.  So in need of a very rigid schedule, and lots of one on one instruction time. 

These are things I haven’t done since undergraduate school.  They were way back in my brain.  The past 16 years or so have been with high school students with a different type of special needs.  I just finished my EdS building new tools to help them succeed.  If I had wanted to retool for multi-disabilities, there is a major for that.  It’s not my gift, although I love these kiddos.  So- I went to my Heavenly Father.

Thursday night and into Friday afternoon I fasted and prayed.  I got up in the morning and searched God’s word.  He brought me to the Old Testament and some lessons from David in 1 Chronicles 14. David was eager to go after the Philistines, yet when he inquired of God, this was the answer

‘God said to him, “You shall not go up after them; go around and come against them opposite the balsam trees. ¹⁵ And when you hear the sound of marching in the tops of the balsam trees, then go out to battle, for God has gone out before you to strike down the army of the Philistines.” ¹⁶ And David did as God commanded him, and they struck down the Philistine army from Gibeon to Gezer.’

There is much more to the story of David, as he commands the Levites to bring the Ark to the city of David.  What struck me was his obedience to God.  Then David sings thanks to God in Chapter 16.

David's Song of Thanks

⁸ Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name;
    make known his deeds among the peoples!
⁹ Sing to him, sing praises to him;
    tell of all his wondrous works!
¹⁰ Glory in his holy name;
    let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice!
¹¹ Seek the Lord and his strength;
    seek his presence continually!

The song continues, but I had all I needed.  Seek the Lord and His strength, call upon His name. 

And so I called through tears and song and uncertainty.  SEEK

After the fast I “plugged back in.”  I retrieved my phone and checked my messages.  I had a message from Human Resources wanting to meet with me.  Nothing else related to the trial, specifically.  I checked the Teach In Alabama job site for openings and there it was:  Brookwood High School, special education teacher, second posting.  Hmmm, this might be promising.

Meanwhile, I met with HR.  To the credit of Shelby County Schools, they listened to my story.  They, rather the HR superintendent and his two staff members, were willing to work with me and get me the proper tools for that classroom.  Training- LOTS of training, curriculum, and more paraprofessionals.  (I was short staffed day one.)  They “need experienced teachers like me.”  And I agree.  However, I wasn’t the experienced one for this position.  There was someone who could do it better- in the best interest of the students and the parents.  Someone with amazing gifts and talents where mine do not lie. I asked about a different position back in Inclusion, but none existed. 

Nothing was shouting at me to go back into the trenches, to the really hard classroom, but I would have been willing.  SEEK.  I had a week full of cancer follow up appointments.  I had to make sure I wasn’t just experiencing something medical, or the first day of school difficulties that always exist.  My insomnia was causing me problems, but everything else checked out.  Bloodwork clear, MRI results clear for one more year, thyroid levels good as well.  Praise God for that.

I updated my resume, I applied at Brookwood High School.  I got an interview.  As it turns out I even know someone that is working there from my days in Tuscaloosa City Schools.  A friend of mine whose daughter graduated with Hannah knows the Key teacher at BHS, and they really need a good teacher.  Things fall into place…God begins to answer the prayers of the righteous. 

I am pretty hard to convince, though.  I’m a bit (no- a lot) hard headed and quite sinful.  I believe God sent me a direct sign that He was in control. 

On the way to the interview, I literally drove through a storm.  It was a quick one with no warning and an abrupt end.  I am on the interstate, no sprinkles on the windshield, just a few clouds around.  It wasn’t a sunny or rainy day, just gray clouds.  Suddenly, I was blinded by the rain on the windshield.  No warning.  I could see absolutely nothing, not the road in front of me, no tail lights or brake lights, just torrential rain on the windshield.  By the time I was able to turn on the wipers, regroup my thoughts, and reach for the flashers, the sky was clear.  It was gone as quickly as it came.  My storm, and my clarity.  I’ve got this, God said.  And so I praised Him, and thanked him for my literal storm.

Now, to some this might seem trivial.  A small thing to worry about, especially in light of current events.  A global pandemic, many suffering with serious health issues, persecution in Afghanistan, so much more.  Nonetheless it was my storm.  I was brought to my knees.  God has been at work in my heart all summer.  It takes something to realize that we are really nothing but sinners- to surrender from self.  To be broken and before Him. To fully trust in our Savior Jesus Christ.   I Surrender All.

I was finally brought to the song “Praise You In this Storm” by Casting Crowns.  Natalie Grant also has a recorded version.   I will post a link.

So I have come full circle.  I will be back at work at the high school where I had my first ever teaching job.  In a wonderful rural community that I still know so much about.  God has reminded me once again that He is in control of all things.  I am in a good place.  Will there be stress, yes!  Will there be suffering?  Yes!  But I know HE holds me, and all aspects of my life in the palm of his hand.  This, my friend, brings me great joy!  In Christ Alone.